When the secrets come out
by LettieHepburn
Summary: What happens when Beckett finds out Castle has been working on her mother's case without her knowledge?


"I thought I asked you to leave me alone," Kate said as she opened the door to face Castle staring back at her.

"But why would I?" He walks through the door and stops as he reaches the living room. Beckett, however, remains holding the doorknob, hoping for Castle to turn around and leave. "Kate, I'm not going anywhere."

"You had no right to go behind my back like that." She finally gives up, closing the door and taking a few steps towards the couch.

"I did it to help you, to protect you. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see that I just don't wanna see you get hurt?" Castle insisted.

"Oh yeah, you're gonna be really helpful getting yourself killed!" Beckett snapped at him, raising her voice and taking one of her hands to her hair. "I'm starting to think this has nothing to do with me at all. I think you're hung up on my mother's case because you need an ending to that story. You can't do without an ending, can you? Well, guess what, Castle, this is not one of your books! It's _my_ life!"

"Beckett... you need closure and I—" Castle says.

"Yes. Yes, _I _need closure. You don't have anything to do with what _I _need!"

"The hell I don't! This started being my fight too the moment I fell— the moment we became partners!"

Beckett rolls her eyes after letting a nervous laugh scape from her lips.

"I'm sick of this. Stop acting like that's all we are. Like that's all we'll ever be." Kate feels her eyes filling up with tears and she wonders if she's actually sad or just really angry. Probably both, she thought to herself.

She lets her body fall on the couch like it was too heavy for her legs to suport it any longer. She takes both of her hands to her face trying to hide what she thinks is a sign of weakness as Castle approaches, not knowing exactly how to respond to that under the circumstances, but knowing exactly what he wanted to say.

At that moment, he felt like he was both fearless and scared to death at the same time. Should I do it? Should I leave? Should I apologize?

But as soon as he saw a tear rolling down one of her cheeks, he knew he couldn't keep that inside any second longer. It was consuming him. It seemed like he didn't even have a choice anymore. So like a word vomit, loud and angry and scared and passionate and not confused at all, Castle blurted out:

"I love you, Kate." The words make her look at him instantly, so he keeps going, now looking her right in the eyes, "I don't know why it took me so long to say it. Hell, I don't know why it took me so long to admit it, but I do. I love you." Kate stares at him like it was all a dream. It couldn't be real... could it? Castle doesn't stop. "I am in love with you and the last thing I wanna see is you getting hurt." She didn't know what to think or do or say. This time she was wide awake and there was absolutely nowhere to run. "I love you enough to wish all of this was happening to me, not to you." Beckett starts shaking her head, taking both of her hands to her side on the couch, as if she needed some kind of impulse to stand up. "I love you enough to know I would do anything for you. I love you enough to say for sure that I will never love anyone else this much ever again."

Kate finally stands up with her hands shaking, but the tears are gone by now. Suddenly she feels guiltier than ever for not telling him she had heard him. She already knows he loves her. How could she say that now? No. No way. He'll never forgive me, she thinks. But right there, in front of her, was the man she loves. The man she has loved inconditionally for the past three years. The man she had thought of marrying someday. The man who tried to save her life inumerous times, the one who'd do it again. The man who told her he loved her when he thought he was going to lose her.

The man she could never lose.

"I remember." Kate lets out with a sigh, pretending to be strong enough not to cry.

"What?" Castle asks, a little confused.

"The day I got shot... I..." She looks at him and stops for a second, fearing what his reaction would be. But a few seconds later she decides to go on. "I remember."

"What do you mean?" He widens his eyes.

"I mean..." Kate closes her eyes and breathes in. "I mean I heard what you said."

"You mean... all this time... you have known?"

He keeps staring at her for several seconds until she finally opens her mouth to say something.

"Castle, I'm sorry."

Rick shakes his head in denial. She couldn't have done this to him. Was this some kind of joke to her? She knew all this time and never said a word to him? What does this mean, that she doesn't love him back? No. No, that's not possible. Suddenly he finds himself clenching his fist. That was the moment he knew he had to leave. So he starts to make his way quickly towards the door.

"Rick, don't!" Beckett shouts, going after him. "Please, don't go!"

"WHY?" He turns around to face her.

"Because what I never told you, what I never had the guts to tell you even after I knew how you felt is that I love you too!" She lets out with a scared, shy smile and as soon as she does, she feels like she's a hundred pounds lighter. "And I have loved you for so long..." She shakes her head, "and I won't, I can't let you go." Kate remains looking at Castle, a little afraid of his next move.

Although he was mad before, when he heard what she had to say, all his worries and thoughts seemed to have vanished. "I love you,"she said once again.

And just like that, he grabs her by the waist, taking one of his hands to her face and kisses her like his life depended on it. The taste of her lips on his was... extraordinary. Even though they had kissed before, it was nothing like that. This was _real_. This was _better_.

Even though Kate was caught off-guard, she didn't hesitate to kiss him back, wrapping her arms around his body and wondering if they could get any closer than they are now.

Every move felt right, effortless.

Heavy breathing. They were gasping for air, but not even that could manage to keep their lips apart. As Castle put his hand underneath her shirt, Beckett shivered and squeezed his arm a little.

Soon enough their clothes were making a trail on the floor to her bedroom, where they finally consumated their love for each other.

They didn't fall asleep after, though. Lying on her bed, Castle had his arm around her.

"I can't believe this is really happening," she looked up to face him with a silly smile on her face.

"Yeah, well, I told you I was good." Castle said, making both of them giggle. Kate pushed him harmlessly and then she climbed up a little on his chest to kiss him on the lips.

When she rested her head on his arm again, she said:

"You know, I don't know if I ever told you that, but... your books helped me through my mother's death." She was making little circles on his chest with the tip of her index finger.

He didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed the top of her head and held her closer to him. When she felt like she was about to cry again, she reached for his hand and held it tight, as if that was the guarantee that everything was going to be alright.

"I'm sorry I snapped, Castle. And I'm sorry I lied." She bit her lower lip and he took her hand to his lips to kiss it.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have done what I did. I should have listened to you." She looked at him, letting go of his hand toput it gently on his face, with a look that said 'It's okay.' She didn't need to say that out loud.

"Let's not think about that right now, okay?" Kate said, going back to his hand and entertwining her fingers with his.

"Okay." He answered, feeling her body on his and the warmth of her skin.

And with that, they fell asleep in each other's arms knowing they'd never, ever want to fall asleep in anyone else's arms for the rest of their lives.


End file.
